“When someone doesn’t know something, what a pity is! If they don’t like it, don’t look at them; If they do, do it with respect. It is the least thing according to the rules of the most basic education” Jorge Puyo Navarro. Notes from the life of a shepherd.
‘By listening that melody, those celestial tunes, I used to feel at other worlds, true paradises in which holy fragrances from gardens and oasis of recondite deserts, were caressing my pale countenance curved with wrinkles like beautiful cracks that showed to the world how tired of living I was…”
I am forty three years old and this is the story of my life… of my beautiful and sad life. A story about deceptions and lies, shadows and falsenesses but as well, dreams and utopias, chimeras and eternal sunsets.
I write these lines as my testimony, my only valid one, the only on which I can feel proud of.
Probably what is going to be declared, sounds sad but life sometimes is that way… most of the time… Nothing happy remains save some ephemeral moments that immediately after, disappear.
I don’t write to become appealing. I do know a lot of people will detest every single word on these pages, every letter… However others will get reflected though and in their silences, in the loneliness of their spirits, will thank me for the fact that somebody dared to rebel himself against this pantomime called Life.
I look around and I don’t see anything, anyone. Since long time ago that is the way that possesses me. It is a cloudy and cold day in December. Christmas time is about to come but I am not here, there… but somewhere… absent, very far away from the known limits…
Probably I will never return. I drive, -faithful and alone. What time is it? Where am I going to? What is my destination? I don’t want to know it. I am not interested in those trivial things anymore. I just feel the need of keep going… straight forward… forward. Why are you fleeing, ask the skies? Am I? Questions floating on the wisdom of the hesitation. Questions and no answers or… answers banished for the sake of the human cowardice…
Wind is holding my breath… wind… my ally… my accomplice. Yes! I admit! I am exhausted! It’s a turning point. My life became meaningless. I was defeated before the duel. My melancholies and nostalgias took over my own. They remember me how old my spirit is and that my life time is over.
Music plays on the radio. I flow… It makes me fuse with the perennial whispers of a time without thorns. The rain is dropping with a poetical sincerity. The road tastes in harmony going nowhere, everywhere… How wonderful desolation! And the rain increases as if it had listened to my heart… raindrops as daggers but as roses as well…
Whispers from previous dawns order me to stop driving. I get out from the car as if the enigma were going to be fathomed. Before me, a Paradise with a wrong sign: peace, nature, pureness… How beautiful! Time and space don’t exist anymore… Drenched and wet… lost and hopeful… I get obsessed with the parade of an universal truth… so latent… so purifying… I am haunted by armies of decaying dreams… embraced by hopeless shouts of tragedy… For the very first time in ages I deeply feel in peace… That anguish that corrodes everything doesn’t seem contaminate the will of a soul determined many lives ago to touch the stars…
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