-Discipline in family life means leading the children to acquire the great virtues of sound judgment, a sense of responsibility, personal courage, self-control, and magnanimity.
-Effective parents practice what we might call affectionate assertiveness. They set out to correct the fault, not the person. They are willing to risk being unpopular.
-How do you show affectionate love to your children?
You physically touch them. You take them by the hand while walking together. When walking by them, you pat them on the head or ruffle their hair a bit.
-You should listen to your children with your eyes. In your eyes they can read your soul, your love for them, your pride in them, your hopes for their future.
-What can you do to punish misbehavior in fairly serious matters?
Time outs
Removing privileges
Putting them to work.
-Many healthy families hold to this policy: each child's bedroom is a place for study, reading, chatting, and playing with siblings, and sleep.
-Leisure is really enjoyable only when we have earned it.
-You can be tough with normal children and quite effective with them if, and only if, they perceive that you are trying to be fair.
-Establish three levels of misbehavior:
1. Misdemeanors.
- Tracking mud in the house.
- Noisy rough-housing.
- Forgetting to do chores.
- Failing to put things away, etc.
Low level response, and sometimes just letting the matter go.
2. Serious infractions.
- Name-calling.
- Taking property without permission.
- Physical aggression.
- Profanity, etc.
You must correct these serious lapses of justice.
3. Felony infractions.
- Showing disrespect for you personally.
- Attempt to defy your authority.
- Deliberately lie to you.
Punishment should be swift and memorable.
Everything you have to teach your children depends on their respect for you and for your authority and for their own word of honor. If you lose this, you lose them.
No comments:
Post a Comment